Author Topic: FaceBook Jokes  (Read 1799 times)

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Offline Kalose

FaceBook Jokes
« on: August 13, 2010, 05:31:01 pm »
A few jokes from a friend on facebook...warning a few are lude...a few crude...and the rest must be rubbish....

Paddy and Murphy walking across a field, Murphy says"look at that forest over there" Paddy replies "i cant see the trees are in the way"

 paddy and Murphy in a car paddy says to Murphy get out and tell me if indicators are working Murphy says...yup nup yup nup yup nup yup nup

 A Midget fortune teller escaped from prison last night,The newspaper headlines said...small,medium at large

 old lady goes to dentist and drops knickers-dentist says I'm not a gynecologist-old lady says i know i want you to take my husbands teeth out.!!!!!

 A lady bumps into a famous Man Utd player, they get talking and decide to go back to her place,he takes off his shirt and has Reebok tattooed on his arm, And Nike tattooed on his leg..lady say's '' why have you got them tattooed on you? '' He says '' if people see my tattoo's on tv i get payed money '' he drops... his pants and has Aids tattooed on his monkey. she screams.... Don't tell me you got Aids? He says ''Calm down!!!!!!!!!! it will say Adidas in a minute... :-P lol

I rear ended a midget with my car today. he got out and said "I am not happy"; then I said, well than which dwarf are you

  Paddy's struggling down the road with a wardrobe. A friend says"hey paddy why don't ya get mick to help" paddy says" hes inside carrying the clothes"

...did you know that if you mix up the letters in Mother In Law... they spell Woman donkey?

Man walks past me in the cemetery, I'm standing in front of a gravestone. Man asks me, "who's dead?". I say, "all of them"

 It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches --- and it doesn't matter if it is Visa or Mastercard...

blind man goes into a shop and swings his guide dog around above his head. shop owner says can i help u sir? blind man says no thanks am just browsing :)

there were two muffins in an oven... one muffin said boy boy, is it hot in here and the other muffin said: OH MY GOD! A TALKING MUFFIN

2 Blonds walk into a bar and the bartender asks "whats the occasion?" one Blond says proudly "we finished a puzzle in 2 months and the box said 2-3 years

Paddy and Murphy sat at the airport.Murphy says"I wish I'd brought the television" "why are you bored?" asks Paddy. "No the passports are on top of it"

whats the difference between a priest and a zit? a zit doesn't come on your face until your thirteen!

wonders when a tree falls in the woods does a chipmunk say HEY,MY NUTS!!

This attitude is brought to you by the letters F and U!!

A girl without curves is like a road without corners. You get where you're going quickly - but it's boring as hell!!

A Boy Walks In On His Mum & Dad. His Dad Says "I'm Making You A Brother" The Boy Says. "Well Do Her Doggy Because I Rather Have A Puppy"

Does anybody wanna come over to myspace? where i can twitter your youtube and let me google all over your facebook??

...why did they create glow in the dark condoms? So that turtle guys can play star wars. xD

wonders if a woman goes with an older man for his money he is a suger daddy, but if a turtle man does the same does the man become a suger puff

An expert has predicted computers will eventually replace paper altogether. he has obviously never tried to wipe his backside with a laptop!

Wants To Give You A Quick Word Of Advice.!! Never Try Sniffing Coke Cuz The Ice-Cubes Will Get Stuck Up Your Nose.!!

 Q. Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts? A. Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away

A horny husband helps his wife set a password on the PC. he typed, MYbear. his wife rolled on the floor laughing when it said "sorry not long enough"

 A man goes in2 a library & asks for a book on suicide.The librarian replies " Fk off, u wnt brin it back

What is the meanest thing you can do to a person? Take the light bulb out of the bathroom and leave the plunger in the toilet!

There Are 3 Things That Make A Mans Life MISERABLE~1.) JOB SUCKS 2.) LIFE SUCKS AND 3.) THE WIFE DOESN'T!

a wife asked her hubby how many women has he slept with? Her Hubby proudly replies,"Only you darling, with all the others I was awake!!" :P

a dumb blonde, a smart blonde & Santa are falling out of the sky... who hits the ground 1st?
the dumb blonde cause the other two don't exist.

 girl takes dress to dyrcleaners & asks for it be cleaned. The man is a bit deaf & says come again, Girl blushes and says no this time its yogurt!!

 A vampire goes into a pub and asks 4 boiling water. The barman says "I thought u only drank blood?" The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says "Im making tea"

the men in white coats came looking for me today, my multiple personalities said "lets run and split up, until we have lost them......"

Anyone else have any jokes that they have posted or a friend has posted on facebook..maybe add them here


Offline Kalose

Re: FaceBook Jokes
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2010, 08:41:24 pm »
ok nice filters.......did you know that if you mix up the letters in Mother In Law... they spell Woman donkey?....why is h....i...t..l...e..r....changed to donkey??

Offline Kaios

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Re: FaceBook Jokes
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2010, 09:17:42 am »
Wow these are terrible.
(Insert witty signature here)

Offline Kalose

Re: FaceBook Jokes
« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2010, 09:29:34 am »
lol kaios like anyone on these forums cares what you have to say anymore....you lost all respect and dignity from players the moment you began typing....

Offline Kaios

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Re: FaceBook Jokes
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2010, 10:03:07 am »
Roflll, you are the one out of your nooby element on this forum, ok !!
(Insert witty signature here)

Offline @@Admin Nash

Re: FaceBook Jokes
« Reply #5 on: August 16, 2010, 01:25:43 am »
i R-E-S-P-E-C-T kaios, hes awesome!

Offline Dose

Re: FaceBook Jokes
« Reply #6 on: August 16, 2010, 02:21:54 pm »
y

 

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