One day while on the job at his cake shop Chrono decided it was getting boring and he was going to visit his Kanadian buddy Rokhan. Chrono focuses into deep thought and uses his Scriptkiddie powers to send Rokhan a mind message
Chrono - OI Rokhan, Ima comin to get you and were going!
---
Chrono boards Monarch flight 1378 from London Gatwick and sits in the luxury class with a class N ticket.
Stewardess - Im sorry sir, these seats are reserved for people of importance and with a Luxury class ticket.
Rog walks in and sits down followed by UT
Chrono - YOUR TRYING TO TELL ME THESE PEOPLE ARE tigerING IMPORTANT?!?! Hey look it's Mike Wilson
UT - All you characters are...
Chrono - Banned for the next 32 000 years, yeah yeah I know the bloody drill.
UT takes out his computer and proceeds to ban Chrono's characters.
Chrono takes out his walking stick and gives UT a 12 foot teaching.
UT - AHHHHHHHH
UT becomes knocked out while Rog starts chopping logs to no avail
Rog - *sigh*
Chrono - Your doing it wrong.
Stewardess - Im sorry sir, you cannot stay here. Your ticket says class N
Chrono - NOVAK CLASS BITCH, I WIN
Stewardess leaves knowing she lost.
---12 hours later Chrono arrives at Deer Lake Airport where Rokhan is moping a floor--
Chrono - Oi mate, bloody hell you doing there
Rokhan - God damned French bitches came and threw a full 40 of liquor cause she couldnt take it on the plane. Ill prolly go and drain this out into my mouth later.
Chrono - Get off ya job cause I ditched mine and were going for an adventure.
Rokhan - Hey Boss
Kaios walks over
Kaios - Chea?
Rokhan - Im taking the day off. And the next day, the day after that, the day after the day after that and probably the days to come after all those days after
Kaios - Erkay, be krazaaaaaaaaaay!
Chrono and Rokhan goto the rental booth where 8 fat Americans are fighting over the last SUV which has donuts in it.
Rokhan - We'll never get a vechile this way
Chrono - Not too worry.
Chrono addressing the crowd - OI FAT PEOPLE TIM HORTONS IS GOING OUT OF BUSINESS AND GIVING AWAY WHOLE BOXES OF DONUTS.
The crowd runs frantically, if you could call rolling - running frantically only to return seconds later.
Rhaorth - Is there an elevator or something? Were too fat to move
Rosewing - Ill buy everyone donuts after we eat all these!
Chrono - uh... ---> way
Crowd rolls out again
Rokhan - Chrono man, your a genius.
Rokhan knocks on Chrono's abnormally large forehead.
Rokhan - I ALWAYS knew there was a reason it was so large
Chrono - And if you dont shut it, your's will be twice as big when Im done with you.
Rokhan - Let just get the SUV
Chrono proceeds to get the SUV keys and passes forms to Rokhan to fill out as he oogles the attendant.
Rokhan - Dammit man, not so obvious.
Chrono - Mmmm, boobies.
Rokhan looks up.
Rokhan - WOAAAAAAH. I'd be looking too
Chrono - Forms done yet mate? Quite oogling, I seen them first.
Attendant - Sign here please
She holds a pen near her breast
Rokhan - Your melons or the paper?
*WHACK*
Rokhan gets slapped up side the face.
Attendant - Sign here
Rokhan signs an ace of spades, throws her a joker card and leaves.
Chrono - So mate where we going?
Rokhan - Your the one that came here, I dont tigering know.
Chrono - Whats good for tourism in NoofInLand
Rokhan - Your saying it all wrong. Hiking?
Chrono - Involves movement, no.
Rokhan - Kayaking?
Chrono - Involves rapid movement, hell no.
Rokhan - Hunting?
Chrono - Involves movement but I like the idea of using a gun, save that for later.
Rokhan - tiger your particular
Chrono - Anything else?
Rokhan - Uh...mm....hmmm
Chrono - Yes?
Rokhan - Uh huh. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. MMMMMMMMMM
Chrono - YES?!?
Awkward silence.
Rokhan - Fishing
Chrono - My rod is big and strong enough thank you and nothing is going to bite it.
Rokhan - With a fishing pole not the johnson in your panties.
Chrono - Oh right, fishing it is!
Rokhan - Paper scissors rock to see whos driving
20 minutes later, and 34 papers in.
Rokhan - ROCK!
Chrono - HAM!
Rokhan - One more
Rokhan - Paper!
Chrono - PENCIL!
Rokhan - What the wolf, theres no pencil
Chrono - There is now seeing as I just found one and my real pencil beats your imaginary paper.
The two hop in the SUV. Chrono throws on some Sabbath and Rokhan blasts the music.
Chrono - Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Rokhan - Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaal!
Muffin - Wow you guys suck
Chrono and Rokhan - BAKER?!?
Rokhan looks and sees a walkie talkie with a large pink thong wrapped around it.
Chrono - Funny kid, lets go.
---3 hours of driving later---
Chrono - I see water
Rokhan - I see Chrono
Chrono - I smell Edd
Rokhan - Wow you better check yourself after that one. I swear you just wolf.
The two exit their SUV and examine the large pool of water
Chrono - We better "scan" for sea serpents.
Rokhan - IRL not IG
Chrono - Right, right.
A warden walks up to the two
Warden - Duz u lads nee dabit oelp?
Chrono - What the tiger, I dont speak this wolf...
Rokhan - Eyby, wecoul da use omeelp
Warden - Whatcha bes a need n
Rokhan - Mean mebuddy iswanting to goouta fish n
Warden - Illloanyameboat
Chrono - Translation?
Rokhan - We're getting a loan of his boat
Warden gives them a scribbled up piece of paper, a 10 gallon gas can and a key for the boat motor.
Warden - GITlOADSsAfISHbY
Rokhan - Thanks
Chrono - What the tiger kinda of language is he speaking
Rokhan - Newfunese, it gets worse when you go into little outport wolfty communities. This si what you get when you mix Indian, English, French, and Spanish into one dialect.
The two walk down towards the beach where a large cruiser is there.
Chrono - Bloody hell thats nice.
Rokhan - Not ours
A little further down is a mid sized speed boat
Chrono - Thats nice too mate, ours?
Rokhan - Neg son
Down near the end of the beach and roped to a wharf is a SS EnviroCan cruiser
Chrono - That better tigering be it, Im tired
Rokhan - Stop eating cakes.
Chrono - What else am I gonna do? No one ever buys them.
Rokhan - Lets just get on
Chrono runs and jumps onto the boat, landing and panting. Rokhan suicide dives over the rail and lands on a soft bench.
Rokhan - Lazy.
Chrono - Showoff.
Rokhan - Go down below and turn the red lever to the right then pull it down.
Chrono goes down and sees 3 red buttons, one saying turn left, another right and the other dont touch. He pulls the third and the boat motor starts up.
Rokhan - Seems to be good, you drove the SUV and you dont have a clue how to operate this so Im driving
---20 minutes of riding the waves, Rokhan stops the boat and releases anchor---
Chrono - Sup?
Rokhan - The fish finder is going ballistic
Chrono - Lemme see
Chrono examines the screen to see a large fish followed by fluxuating amounts of small fish around the boat.
Chrono - Bloody hell, can we eat all those if we catch em?
Rokhan - Your damn well right. Go get your rod.
Chrono slowly unzips his trousers.
Rokhan - WRONG tigerING ROD
Chrono - Err... yeah.. right.
Chrono brings back 2 fishing poles. Rokhan baits them with a piece of paper
Rokhan - Ok watch me for abit and see how its done.
Rokhan casts the lure into the water and lets it sink abit to start reeling furiously moments later.
Rokhan - Watch this baby
Rokhan reels in a pink thong
Chrono - Oi Muffin is getting us good where ever he is.
Rokhan - He doesnt wear size XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL +1 though does he?
Chrono - Ierno, lets keep it a souvenir.
Rokhan puts it in a large wooden box.
Chrono - So does it matter what I bait this with?
Rokhan - Not at all, these fish will go for anything.
Chrono baits his hook with a moldy donut and casts it high into the air and hears a large ominous splash nearby
Chrono - OI ITS A WHOPPER OUT HERE
Rokhan - Let your lure drop abit and see if it bites.
The boat suddenly lurches forward several feet as Chrono's pole starts bending.
Rokhan - REEEEEEEEEEEEL THIS SUCKER IN
Chrono - Left or right?
Rokhan - BACKWARDS
Chrono - Oh
Chrono starts reeling like a mad man and begins to perspire fanatically from his face.
Chrono - OI GIMME A tigerING HAND ITS HUGE
Rokhan grabs the rod and starts pulling and Chrono keeps reeling.
---5 minutes later a massive dark shadow is seen where the line dives into the water---
Chrono - ITS tigerING GARGANTUAN
Rokhan - THIS IS EPIC
Chrono - THIS IS EDD AND ADAMS GREAT NFL FISHING TRIP
The large shadow becomes clear and surfaces...
Chrono - AHHHHHHHHHHHHH SEA SERPENT
Rokhan - OI ITS CHRISTY!!!
---To be continued---