Disclaimer: Some of you may wonder why Daegan and a few others post replies with their expertise. This question cannot be answered by a simple reply, it can only be answered by following the days in the life of Daegan himself, only then will you understand such replies he makes.
This is the story of Daegan and his band of veteran followers.
GMT +0 time, Devon, England:
2am
*phone rings*
Chronolink: Hello?
Daegan: Hello Chronolink, sorry to disturb you at this time, look out the window you will see a black taxi waiting for you which will take you to the nearest airport where you will be met by one of my employees to fly to Buffalo, New York on a private jet.
Chronolink: What’s this all about?
Daegan: You are part of my master operation, and I need you, everything will be paid for, when you get here and you don’t like it, you can go back to your pathetic life.
Chronolink: Uhm… ok
Daegan: I will see you
Chronolink gets dressed, goes into the taxi and gets the plane to Buffalo
GMT +0 time, London, England:
2.30am
*phone rings*
Daegan: Hello Dravien, sorry to disturb you at this time, look out the window on the street corner will see a black taxi waiting for you which will take you to the nearest airport where you will be met by one of my employees to fly to Buffalo, New York on a private jet.
Dravien: Uhm… what?
Daegan: You are part of my master operation, and I need you, everything will be paid for, when you get here and you don’t like it, you can go back to your pathetic life.
Dravien: Ok I guess
Dravien gets dressed, goes into the taxi and gets the plane to Buffalo
US Central Time, Long Island, New York
*phone rings*
Daegan: Hellos Stormy, I neeeeeeed you man! Look outside your window for the taxi, it’ll take you to Buffalo, where I’ll meet you.
Stormy: Erm…. Why?
Daegan: I neeed you dude trust me
Stormy: Ok….
Stormy gets dressed, goes into the taxi and gets the plane to Buffalo
US Central Time, Beaumont, Texas
*phone rings*
Daegan: Hello Muffin Man, sorry to disturb you at this time, look out the window you will see a black taxi waiting for you which will take you to the nearest airport where you will be met by one of my employees to fly to Buffalo, New York on a private jet.
Muffin Man: Word up pink pimps j0 I’m on my way
Daegan: Good boy
Muffin Man gets dressed, goes into the taxi and gets the plane to Buffalo
US Central, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
Daegan: Hello Aelfgeft, sorry to disturb you at this time, look out the window you will see a black taxi waiting for you which will take you to the nearest airport where you will be met by one of my employees to fly to Buffalo, New York on a private jet.
Aelfgeft: But I’m getting married soon
Daegan: FORGET YOUR MARRIAGE, I NEED YOU!
Aelfgeft: Ok!
Aelfgeft gets dressed, goes into the taxi and gets the plane to Buffalo
Buffalo, New York. “The High Place Hotel.” The top-most floor of the building
9am
Daegan: You all know why you are here, so I will begin with…
Muffin Man: Why are we here?
Daegan hits Muffin Man over the head with a pink-pimp stick
Daegan: You tigering hawk, listen up, I’ll tell you
Dravien: Can me and Chrono have some cider?
Daegan: LOOK YOU ENGLISH tigerS, NO YOU CAN’T YOU ARE IN EMERIKA NOW. As I was saying, we are here because we are to troll the RPGWO forums as veterans and put n00bs in their place, this will earn Grinch’s favour and we will soon run the forums and put n00bs under moderation. You are all well-trained. You’re following roles are the ones that follow:
Muffin Man - You are good at posting meaningless crap, so keep it up
Dravien - You are good at posting violent behaviour, so keep it up
Chronolink - You are good with your reputation as a scriptkiddie and veteranness, you will post after me backing me up with everything I say, else no tea for you
Aelfgeft - You are great at abuse like Dravien, you will also post after me backing me up or I will not be the best man at your wedding
Stormy - You never post, you are just seksi that’s why you are here
Now remember guys, you are safe behind these glass screens, no one can touch you, if you find the Internet that serious, you will be placed in rehabilitation ready to rejoin this cult. DO NOT FAIL.
The cult go to sleep
Day 1: 4am
Daegan: Ohhhhhh guys check out my post about this Gizza n00b, ok you know your roles, get to it.
Chronolink begins to post
Aelfgeft begins to post
Muffin Man begins to post
Dravien begins to post
6am
Daegan: HEY GUYS? He replied….. hmm…. Looks like he’s getting clever, ok, all reply back
Chronolink begins to post
Aelfgeft begins to post
Muffin Man begins to post
Dravien begins to post
9am – Breakfast
Daegan on the phone: Hey room service? Send up breakfast
Room service man: Ok
9.10 am, Breakfast arrives
Daegan: Ok guys, eat up and we can post more
Things go on like this for a week, all at these exact times and all the members on this set routine, all n00bs who speak up on the forums get flamed by Daegan and his little cult of loyal followers, then one day…
10pm
Daegan: Hmm… a new threat, this one looks clever, his name is Zoex, ok, no posting, we are going to stay up until we can think of posts to make to make him look like a n00b.
1am
Daegan: Ok the plans progressing
Chronolink: Cider please
Dravien: Tea please
Muffin Man: Pink Pimps please
Aelfgeft: GET THE tiger OUT PLEASE
3am
Daegan: Ok nearly there
Chronolink: Must… have…. Crumpets
Dravien: I want an English pie
Muffin Man: Gief pink pimps lolz
Aelfgeft: Hey hey hey…. Look at YOU!
7am
Daegan: Ok we are all quite tired, here’s all your sheets of paper I want you to write these replies I have written
Daegan’s cult of followers all write these smart replies
Daegan: HAHA PWNED
Muffin Man: Owned
Dravien: Bloody hell we are good
Chronolink: Yes mate, we are, tea all round
Aelfgeft: That bastard can go die in the fire ROFL
For such great work Deagan was impressed, in the months that followed this happened:
Dravien and Chronolink were given an English pub where cider, tea and crumpets were served.
Aelfgeft got married and Daegan was the best man
Muffin Man worded up the pink pimps j0
Stormy stayed seksi
Daegan carried on making these plans and stuff
Zoex in a fit of depression after being “bettered” by Daegan and his elitist cultist dudes, drove Axemans’ Mums’ pink Dodge Viper off a cliff
And so things also go on like this for a while, happen again, history repeats itself, and that is how Daegan and his cult lives. I hope this wall of text story was fun to read as much as I had fun writing it.
All of what you read is true, we stay up in a hotel room until a godly hour in the morning without sleep plotting all these forum posts to win da Intawebbz.
If you want to join us then please buy a black jumpsuit with blue neons, I am sure they are popular where you live, don’t talk about how cool we are and our 31337 lifestyle because we know we rawkzerz and we WILL rape you in the eye with a forum post
You have been warned!