RPGWO Forums
Old => Stories => Topic started by: chronolink on August 20, 2008, 01:28:54 pm
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Inside the Scotland Yard Pub, Toronto. Grinch is addressing an audience
Grinch: Ok people, there was a time, years ago, when two people did find happiness. These were the most unlikely couple, but this is how it goes
Grinch sips some Whisky
Grinch: Well, it all started somewhere in Kansas
Howl At The Moon Bar, Kansas. 20 Years ago
Gizza is having a lonely night out and telling a few women about his Australian branch in a major Ice Cream company in the USA. Christy and her band are playing God Save The Queen originally by The Sex Pistols
Gizza: So this year, we had a turnover over well more than $2,000,000. Isn't that great?
The 2 girls he is talking too, seemingly totally unphased and uninterested by Gizza start talking again about what guy they went for lastnight. Gizza, realising he's not going to find a girl ever, goes back to the bar for another drink
Gizza: Sambuca please
Barkeep: You look pretty upset
Gizza: Well, it's just i'm a successful businessman and i've never had a girlfriend
The band stop playing at that moment and announce they are having a break from playing
Barkeep: You might get lucky, here comes Christy. She'll love a man who is successful and has a lot of money
Christy walks to the bar
Christy: Sambuca please
Gizza: Hi, you drink Sambuca too? So do I
Christy: I love Sambuca, oh i'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Christy
Gizza: I... I... I'm Gizza
Christy: Nice to meet you Mr Gizza, can I get you a drink?
Gizza: But i'm uh, drinking already
Christy: Then i'll buy you another
Gizza: Sure
Grinch: Now this all looks very Hollywood, but check what happens next
Grinch blows smoke from a pipe he lit up earlier
Christy: So you own a US branch in a major Ice Cream company?
Gizza: Yes
Christy: I love Ice Cream, how about after I finish tonight you teach me a bit more about Ice Cream and what you can do?
Gizza starts choking on some of his drink, but quickly recovers
Gizza: Sure
Christy: Ok i'm off back to play, later big guy
Grinch: So Gizza waited until the bands helpers packed everything away, but he was in a spot of trouble; he didn't know how to do it
Grinch sips some more Whisky
Christy: Follow me
They go upstairs to a room where the band are staying
Christy: So tell me more about what you do
Gizza: I uh...
Gizza is interupted by Christy taking off her clothes
Gizza: I run the company... I make money, you know I really have a lot of money
Grinch: By this time, she's taken all her clothes off and Gizza is just standing there stuck for words
Christy: Ok big guy, eat me like you would Ice Cream
Christy tackles Gizza to the bed and starts taking his clothes off
Grinch: Albeit Gizza having no clue what to do, Christy did it all for him... but Christy being some Punk Rocker was on The Pill so Gizza had no worries, nor did she. They tigered for about 20 minutes and Gizza seemed a new man
About a month later Gizza is in his Palace where he gets a phonecall
Gizza: Hello?
Christy: It's me, look, i'm pregnant
Gizza: OH SHI....
Christy: Look, our relationship is ok. I guess, we can get through this; but we must get to Vegas to marry each other
Gizza: Oh, ok
1 roadtrip later
Spring Valley, Las Vegas
An Elvis impersonator weds them
Elvis impersonator: I now pronounce you, man and wife yeah baby
Christy: I love you Gizza
Gizza: I love you too
Elvis Impersonator: I dated your little sister...
1 roadtrip back
Grinch: But not all at the time was cracked up to be
Grinch takes another blow of his pipe
4 months later
Christy: I neeeeeeed more Ice Cream
Gizza: You'll get fat
Christy: Look, I neeeeed Ice Cream
Gizza: Ok, i'll swing by work and get some
Christy: Get me loads
So Christy feeds on Ice Cream until one day...
Christy: My water is broken
Gizza: AGHHHHHH, to the hospital
Gizza drives as quick as he can to the nearest hospital. After a lovely delivery of a baby boy, Gizza decides
Gizza: Brendan, we'll call him Brendan
Christy: Such a lovely name
Gizza: Uh darling? Could you lose a bit more weight?
Christy: I'll try
Gizza: I love you Christy
Christy: I love you too Giz...
Grinch: Now here's the weird part of this story
Grinch takes yet another sip of Whisky
The hospital wall falls down piling on top of a car. Inside is Chronolink stupidly-dressed as Dr Emmet Brown and Rokhan, who is dressed as Marty Mcfly
Rokhan: I said take a left at the entrance, not hit the wall
Chronolink: Too late for that, oh look, he's there
Gizza: What? What's happening?
Rokhan: We're here to tell you about the future?
Chronolink: Wait a sec, try again
Chronolink hits a switch that plays the music from Back To The Future
Gizza: What about the future?
Rokhan: Oh you turn out fine, it's your children
Gizza: What happens?
Chronolink: Well, look at this TV screen, we made a movie about it
Chronolink switches on a small TV screen with Rokhan dressed up as Brendan and Chronolink dressed up as an IRS man
IRS man: It failed, we are here to take your business
Brendan: HOW CAN YOU KICK ME OUT OF WHAT IS MIIIIIIIIINE?
Grinch: Well, that concludes that story. There won't be another so stop giving me requests
Grinch takes one last smoke of his pipe and finishes his Whisky
Grinch: Goodnight
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o lordy...
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hehe, a few bits in there actually made me laugh
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Christy: Ok big guy, eat me like you would Ice Cream
LOLLLLLL
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Hahaha, that was hilarious
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Lmao
RS man: It failed, we are here to take your business
Brendan: HOW CAN YOU KICK ME OUT OF WHAT IS MIIIIIIIIINE?
My favorite point. You are god at stories, chrono.
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Rokhan: I said take a left at the entrance, not hit the wall
I laughed at that, reminds me of your horrible GTA Driving.
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Rokhan: I said take a left at the entrance, not hit the wall
I laughed at that, reminds me of your horrible GTA Driving.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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I think I'm going to be sick.
But I laughed at the wall part.
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Lol haha.
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Marty Mcfly, man I LOL'd. That the wall thing and 'HOW CAN YOU KICK ME OUT OF WHAT IS MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Epic